Foster Family Visit

I think I was right, this really is all a dream. Today we had one of those once in a lifetime experiences. There is no way it can ever be duplicated or fully explained. You had to be there to really appreciate it.

We found out we could hire a private guide to visit Alyssa's foster family. We could not tell our adoption guide we were doing this nor our agency. We debated about whether to do it or not. I corresponded with a friend on one of the adoption boards and she assured me all would be okay. Thanks, Majorie, if you reading this!

We left the hotel about 9:00 this morning. We forgot the foster mom's gift so we had to return to the hotel to get it. After 2 1/2 hours we arrived in Fuzhou at the foster care village.

In route the guide told us the family was preparing lunch for us. Can you imagine the thoughts going through
my head? There are so many foods we are trying to avoid here.

When we were close the foster dad showed up on his scooter to lead the way. He seemed very excited about our arrival.

As we pulled up to the little complex the foster mom came running to the van to see Alyssa. We were escorted into the entryway and told to have a seat. The chairs were so small I was worried it was going to break when I sat on it. They then starting giving us fruit and cookies.

We looked around a bit.. It was very small and took some pictures. Many people came to see us. It was probably the only time in our lives we will be celebrities.

Then the orphanage doctor showed up. It's okay because our guide and him are good friends. That reminds me, the day after Alyssa left the FM was brought a tiny baby. She now has 2, a 7 month old and a baby.

It's now time for lunch. They pull up benches around the table. There are many of us eating but we don't know who anyone is except the orphanage doctor and the foster parents. In the middle of the table there are 9 or so dishes. I could only identify two of them. One was cucumbers and the other was chicken feet. We were all given chopsticks and dug in family style. No individual plates or anything. I have to admit I ate as little as possible. Julia and Grace enjoyed the cucumbers and some kind of sausage slices. Someone handed Julia a chicken foot and she was going to try to eat it. Gross! Wish I would have taken a picture.

They served grape wine and liquor. We had a little grape wine. Every time someone drank they would toast someone.

Lots of talking and laughing going on. We understood none of it but it was a pleasant lunch. They were amused at our use of chop sticks or rather our inability to use them. They found the girls fascinating especially Julia.

After lunch we began to take lots of pictures of various groups of people. The foster mom had Alyssa's clothes on the line and told me to take what I liked. I asked what were Fu Hao Ling's favorites and she gave me 2 sweaters, one is a beautiful purple one and a pair of Happy Goat boots. Happy Goat is a cartoon the kids love here.

We gave the foster family a gift...a scrapbook made by my wonderful niece Maribeth and some chocolates. I tried to take Alyssa and she started to scream. So we waited until the car. Alyssa only cried about 20 minutes, chilled for 30 and returned to her happy self.

It is difficult to explain how this family lives. You have to see it for yourself. Alyssa's foster family had one bedroom with 2 foster kids. I think the kitchen and entryway are all shared spaces. The floor is concrete and there is dirt everywhere. You have to see it to grasp the simplicity of it. But you know what it didn't matter. They seemed happy with their life and that is what matters.

We as Americans take so much for granted. We have rooms full of things that we don't need and still want more. We don't know what poor really means.

I am so thankful that we had this experience. Hopefully the kids were able to process some of what took place. This is the real China, so different from the nice hotels they put us up in and the tours they take us on.